A great lesson in life!!!

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze. 'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...' 'No seriously,' I asked.. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. 'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.' As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, '! We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older.. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets' She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.' She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be. When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

It's the little things in life...

Woke up feeling just dandy! Hoping for some sunshine but thought to myself "Ang, just be glad you woke up". The kids and I went through our morning routine (more of that at the end of this blog) and off to school and work. Everything went smoothly, even had a little more energy! I drove by the convenient store and one of those vanilla cappicino's was screaming my name! I love those drinks but I cut out caffeine (and boy did I have some withdrawals!) So, as badly as I wanted one, I sipped on my Diet Green Tea with mixed berry and thought about how my jeans weren't so tight....and kept driving.

Got to work, had me some yogurt and a 1/2 bagel without cream cheese. I had bought some NO fat, (not low fat,,,NO fat) strawberry cream cheese...Ok that shit was nasty!! So, a plain bagel and yogurt was the way to go today. Went and worked out at lunch and saw my new friend Dana,,she said she had been reading my blogs and just loved them, that was a nice way to start my work-out! It's a cool feeling when someone likes what you have to say and even more cool when it makes them smile! So I did a mile on the treadmill in 12 minutes, some ever loving crunches and got a great workout in.

Lunch, I had a lean cuisine chicken and mashed potatoes with English peas....Seriously,who the heck eats those nasty peas...they are like dog ticks in your mouth... I know that is disgusting but the peas started it!! Finished up my lovely lunch and thanked God for it. How many people are starving and eating whatever they can find and would love to have my lunch and dog ticks. But...then came desert!! I had a small bag of 100 calorie chocolate chip cookies. I had a bag yesterday but ate them so fast I was like "what the heck happened to my cookies" So today, I opened the bag slowly, smelled the chocolate in the bag, at the cookies slowly, tore open the bag and got the little chocolate chips left in corner of the bag. I believe somewhere in the bible Jesus may have stated in red words that it is a sin to throw away chocolate. Easy on me about that last sentence, I am not trying to go for blasphemy, just a little humor.

Now, back to my morning, I will always try to end my blogs on a high note, this was a very high note for me...
When I got up this morning my kids were getting their morning routine done, brushing teeth, deodorant, getting their bags together. I walk in the bathroom and Kason says, "Mom, you think I can live with you forever?" I looked right at my precious boy and there was one thing I knew for certain at that moment and that was that Kason is the best man I have ever had in my life. I hugged my kiddo like I hadn't seen him in years and I scratched his back and told him "Son, you can stay with me forever and a day." He just smiled a goofy grin and said "Mom, you are the best ever", how ironic that I was thinking the same about him. So, to both of my kids, I love you with everything I am. You both make me be a better person. This of course does not mean they get out of their chores!!

Now, I'm off to find out how to recycle these English "dog tick" peas...

Life is full of choices....

So, I decided to join the gym. I went and paid, did the orientation, worked out and then BAM the next morning I get up to go work out I have a splitting headache and a stomach bug!! But!!!! I was a trooper and went and worked out. Felt a little better but isn't it funny when you try to start something, one thing after another arises to try and keep you down. Well not this time!!

I also moved into my new house this weekend so I was moving and lifting and working the booty!! But I have noticed how emotions play a huge part in the succes or demise of the whole work-out thing. Been bummed about an "ex", not sure why. He was an "ex" for so many reasons but him finding someone else just slapped me in the face. And she was younger and thinner and he made sure to point this out. Well, he doesn't know me to well because that just pissed me off even more!! Dummy. Anyway, blocked his number, deleted all the info I could ever find on this idiot and dropped another 250 lbs of excess weight. Yea, the dude was shorter than me and had a keg beer belly,,,not that I mind a man of that size, just don't dog me when your ass is bigger!! Dummy.

So,, ,any whooooo, I got up this morning (raining again!!) and was moping around and looked in the mirror at my miserable face and was like "damn girl, get over yourself and live life!" So, I worked out, came to work, went to Wal-Mart and spread around my good cheer. Life is about choices and I choose to be happy.

I did 2 miles on the treadmill in 22 minutes, 3.5 mph and 3 incline,,, that was a fun time,,yea right. Then I did some ab crunches and started cussing myself for all the beer and mexican food over the last few years! But then at lunch when I was eating my lean cuisine lunch, I was pretending it to be mexican food and corona!! I didn't get much pleasure from it. But when I stepped on the scale at work and it wasn't stuck on that horrible number, actually 8 numbers lower,,,I was pretty jazzed. By God, I have the heart, soul and back bone to do anything I want so my quote for the day is "Never have a wish bone where your back bone ought to be"-Clementine Paddleford.

Me in high school!! I was half as big and my hair is now twice as short!

09/09/09--The beginning.

So, I got this picture from Chad Guymon of when I was in high school. I was 5'8" and weighed 135 lbs. I was an avid basketball player and was in great shape. 2 years after graduation I got married, had a child and 21 months later had another baby. I can't blame my weight on "baby" fat!! My kids are 15 and 13!! And I only gained 10 lbs with Kaitlyn, had morning sickness like no other. And only 20 lbs with Kason. When the kiddos were 3 and 1, I began to work-out like a woman possessed. I did aerobics, weights, water, jogging, etc. I loved it! Great energy, great body, just a wonderful feeling. Then....I really don't know what happened...years crept by and the weight crept on. I went through a divorce, lost 48 lbs. Went to Mexico looking great! Then...more years crept by...the weight crept back on. All the hours of working out and sweat for nothing! So here I am. 37 years weighing, well lets just say "WEIGH TOO MUCH".

When I received this picture from Chad, I got so pissed off (not at Chad!) How could I let myself get to this! I am two times as big! I am just appalled and sickened that I have become this way. I don't have a problem with over-weight people, I have a problem with over weight me! So I say to myself, "Angie, quit bitching and just do it! No excuses, no whining, you did this to yourself now get your fat ass out of it! I am going to be very honest and open with my journey, I'm not ready to reveal my weight and measurements just yet but I will soon. I am going to post pics before, during and after. I am being very open in upfront about this because I feel you need a support team and you need to journal not only your diet and exercise but your feelings, thoughts, high & lows to truly conquer this problem.

I feel I must add this as well, I just got called all kinds of fat names yesterday and today by an ex boyfriend. Which ironically, he is bigger than I am! I have been called it before by strangers, family and I'm sure people have said, WOW, she had really let herself go. Well, to each of you that has said that or wants to dog me, I know I'm big. I don't need your ingenious insight to tell me that. This does not make me less of a person or lazy or dumb. I'm still a woman with feelings and a heart and soul. And when you become perfect, then you can dog me. Until then, positive and encouraging remarks are the only one that will be tolerated.