So, I got this picture from Chad Guymon of when I was in high school. I was 5'8" and weighed 135 lbs. I was an avid basketball player and was in great shape. 2 years after graduation I got married, had a child and 21 months later had another baby. I can't blame my weight on "baby" fat!! My kids are 15 and 13!! And I only gained 10 lbs with Kaitlyn, had morning sickness like no other. And only 20 lbs with Kason. When the kiddos were 3 and 1, I began to work-out like a woman possessed. I did aerobics, weights, water, jogging, etc. I loved it! Great energy, great body, just a wonderful feeling. Then....I really don't know what happened...years crept by and the weight crept on. I went through a divorce, lost 48 lbs. Went to Mexico looking great! Then...more years crept by...the weight crept back on. All the hours of working out and sweat for nothing! So here I am. 37 years weighing, well lets just say "WEIGH TOO MUCH".
When I received this picture from Chad, I got so pissed off (not at Chad!) How could I let myself get to this! I am two times as big! I am just appalled and sickened that I have become this way. I don't have a problem with over-weight people, I have a problem with over weight me! So I say to myself, "Angie, quit bitching and just do it! No excuses, no whining, you did this to yourself now get your fat ass out of it! I am going to be very honest and open with my journey, I'm not ready to reveal my weight and measurements just yet but I will soon. I am going to post pics before, during and after. I am being very open in upfront about this because I feel you need a support team and you need to journal not only your diet and exercise but your feelings, thoughts, high & lows to truly conquer this problem.
I feel I must add this as well, I just got called all kinds of fat names yesterday and today by an ex boyfriend. Which ironically, he is bigger than I am! I have been called it before by strangers, family and I'm sure people have said, WOW, she had really let herself go. Well, to each of you that has said that or wants to dog me, I know I'm big. I don't need your ingenious insight to tell me that. This does not make me less of a person or lazy or dumb. I'm still a woman with feelings and a heart and soul. And when you become perfect, then you can dog me. Until then, positive and encouraging remarks are the only one that will be tolerated.
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You go girl!!!
ReplyDeleteI love what you said and I feel the same way. I too have gained and lost and gained so many times like you, 1st marriage = weight gain, divorce = weight loss, 2nd marriage a little weight gain but the chemo = a lot of weight gain. I lost lost half of the weight and then had a child and gained 50 lbs pds with him. I lost about half and then we moved to Hawaii and I was misserable and gained what I had lost and more back. I too am tired of being fat and very well aware of my weight issues. I have a mirror in my house and well aware of what I look like.
ReplyDeleteI will be looking forward to your future blogs and maybe is some way be able to help each other along the way.
You are a strong & determined woman! But like I have always told the kids...words hurt and can not ever be taken back...and usually never forgotten. SO take what that.......Take what your "EX" has said and keep that as your FUEL to your fire...you can do this....I have a great book that Scotty and I used as a guide when we had our "let's get fit" time in our life...come to think of it...maybe we need to be having another ones of those times....ok ok..back on track...I have a book called BODY FOR LIFE...it is very cut and dry (and actually pretty simple)...it shows you a weekly plan (workout) and samples of all the exercises and food that he recommends. There is also a web site for Body for Life. If you want the book...it's yours! It may be at least a guide to get you started and then you can tweek it along the way.
ReplyDeleteI know you can do this!!!! I BELIEVE I BELIVE I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!